‘Twas the night before Shutdown, when all through the House
Not a Repub was cogent, they all were quite soused!
John Boehner was hung out to dry with great care
By Tea Party faithful with bats in their hair.
The chief among rebels was Senator Ted;
While visions of presidency danced in his head,
He pranced like a vixen and kvelled like a schnorer
In hopes he would be on the TV tomorrer.
And mama Pelosi and sad Steny Hoyer
Were left to hold press briefings out in the foyer,
To try and explain how their dreck-for-brains colleagues
Could pull stunts that branded them strictly from bush leagues.
Just blame gerrymandering, animal husbandry,
A bit of inbreeding, and echoey chambery
Sorts of recidivist, nativist foolishness,
Mixed with a tad of political ghoulishness.
A bedbug should bite that Cruz right in the tuchus;
Merry Shutdown to all, and to all a good Succos!
But not to digress from the matter at hand,
The tune the Republicans’ sad one man band
Was playing to all (or to all who would listen)
Was “Pass me the Lord — and praise ammunition!”
The poor can survive on just bibles and bullets;
No need for sugar-plums, no need for pullets,
No need for health care and no need for jobs;
You want more solutions? We’ve got gobs and gobs!
An American flag stuck in every rotisserie,
No more federal government – bring back the Confederacy!
Roll back civil rights and defund children’s lunches
TRAP laws and crap laws, enact them in bunches!
Arrayed all in graft from their head to their feet
Their avarice grand but their ethics petite,
They quivered and shook till the clock had run out,
The Shutdown commenced, and it left little doubt
That our Congress gives off an atrocious aroma,
A scrofulous bunch whose métier is glaucoma.
Furloughed inspectors of pork and disease
Can lark in the meadows, play flutes in the trees!
Don’t fear trichinosis or cancer ovarian
Merry Shutdown to all, be ye all libertarian!
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